Borders were breeched....North Korea was invaded!!! (not politics, I promise)

So, there's one thing that annoys me about my husband...he can sleep anywhere....literally. He can sleep in any temperature, in any amount of space, with any type of covering, through wind, rain, tsunami, you name it! He can sleep through it. He lays down and in one minute flat he's out....in a coma...doesn't hear a thing...sleeps so hard. How can that be? How can anyone sleep so soundly and hard!!! UGH

I'm what  is called a "high needs" sleeper....it's hell for me to get a good nights sleep. It's horrible. The stars have to align perfectly for me to sleep. It's takes forever for me to fall asleep and it takes lots of preparation. Here are my guidelines for a good nights sleep:
    1. I have to have air circulating at all times...like a fan...or jet engine..whatever....but I have to feel air blowing on my face and skin or I start to feel like I'm suffocating. Jim, on the other hand, can sleep in 90 degrees of still air in a desert and it won't bother him.  NOPE.
    2. I need the perfect ratio of covered skin to uncovered skin. I need to always keep my legs, feet, and body covered, and my arms...but not my shoulders. So this happens after I fight with the blankets for a while to get the blankets just right.
    3. I have to have LOTS of pillows...one for my head, one to put my arm around, and one on each side of me for my legs. So I'm barricaded by pillows.
    4. I cannot touch anything or anyone. Jim and I actually have quite the pillow barrier between us in our king-size bed...we even joke that he's "South Korea" and I'm "North Korea"...I don't like visitors...I don't like illegal immigrants. Stay in your country and I'll stay in mine. If his foot even travels into in the "danger zone" we joke about North Korea...you enter at your own risk.

So..last night we were in a hotel (going back to the two bedroom condo today..thank God!)...with one bedroom, one queen bed (which is bullshit because I swear that sucker was a double..not a queen). Madison slept on a pullout couch and Jim, Emma, and I attempted to sleep in the queen together. Now...if you know my husband, he has LONG limbs...he has the wingspan of a pterodactyl. He likes to spread out. Emma is like sleeping with a tasmanian devil...she moves constantly...and she has to feel you....UGH. So Jim was spread out....Emma was spread out...and I tried to create my cocoon of pillows in a make-shift North Korea. This gave Emma about 5 inches to sleep in. I tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I got hot...then cold...then my back hurt...neck hurt...then hot again. Emma would come into North Korea without the proper visa. UGH. So I didn't sleep. At 1:30, Emma attempted to sleep horizontal in her five inches of space. My immediate thought as a loving mother is "I hate my life". Emma then decides to wake up and practice her kickboxing....on my back.....(mental thought: "Why do bad things happen to good people")......

After finally falling asleep and having a great dream about Harrison Ford, Madison comes in a 6:30. She's standing next to the bed...about 2 inches from my face...and she says "Mommy, I have to go potty" (mental thought: I hate my life....again). I wake up...feeling sore...hungover....exhausted. After the bathroom, Madison climbs in bed with us...all four of us in bed. Most moms would think of how sweet it is to be close...all snuggled together....cozy and warm....NOPE. Screw that. I need space! So we woke up.....

We go back to the condo today...and we'll have space...and our own beds. God bless Ambien, because Momma is going to pop one at 7:30 and get some sleep!!!! The North Korean borders will not be entered tonight.